


it's hard to say there's nothing i regret

by katana_fleet



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-15
Updated: 2015-11-15
Packaged: 2018-05-01 18:25:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 395
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5216075
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/katana_fleet/pseuds/katana_fleet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>when she thinks of his words back in camelot, the dark swan remembers being emma swan.</p>
            </blockquote>





	it's hard to say there's nothing i regret

**Author's Note:**

> title from silhouettes by of monsters and men. characters/situations to adam and eddy, as always. dark swan gives me feels.

_You’ve got a piercing eyed, smoldering pirate here who loves you_.

 

Dark Swan remembers that on the hard days.

 

It’s all she has anymore, sometimes.

 

The days when Regina actually threatens to destroy her. They were never really friends, certainly not now, but it somehow stings.

 

The days when Snow clutches baby Neal just a little more if she sees her walking down the streets of Storybrooke. It brings back the memories the dark times when Emma’s magic was out of control. The Dark Swan smirks to think of uncontrollable magic, but she still flinches when she sees her mother’s arms tighten around the baby that replaced her.

 

The days when David’s hand clenches on his gun, just slightly, whenever he thinks about the woman who was once his daughter. David was always her favorite parent, the one she could confide in. The one who never judged her and always encouraged her. A little bit of the Dark One misses this, the love of her father.

 

The days when Henry looks at her and shudders, just slightly, remembering what he saw in Violet’s dreamcatcher. This might be what hurts the most. Her own son, believing that she is a monster. She knows she’s a monster; she has dozens of Dark Ones in her head reminding her of this every day. But she had thought when she stole her family’s memories—not _Henry_. _Henry_ , at least, would still accept her.

 

The hardest days are the days she looks into Killian’s eyes and doesn’t see her pirate, the man Emma loved. She sees someone else. She sees someone who hates what she has become. He hates the darkness, hates the Dark One, is fighting _so_ hard to bring back the woman he loves.

 

_I loved you_.

 

That was the hardest day of all. As his words washed over her, she could feel Emma’s heart breaking and she could feel Emma’s tears rising in her eyes. Before the tears overflowed she had left Killian on the _Jolly Roger_.

 

That is what hurts the most. Pushing Killian away. Watching as he pulled away. Seeing the man she loved— _Emma loved_ —watch her with a wary stare. A stare that peered into the Dark One’s soul, trying to find a trace of Emma Swan.

 

When she thinks of his words back in Camelot, the Dark Swan remembers being Emma Swan.


End file.
